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It May Not be the Beverly Hills Hotel, but...
Edward Palmer (youth-sports.com,
youthsprts@aol.com) has won the MYSS! "Analyze
This" Sweepstakes. What did he win?
Well, do you remember the SITE-SELL! issue where
we analyzed and improved the site of the Beverly
Hills Hotel?
http://articles.sitesell.com/bhh/
It was far and away the most popular article
ever written in the SITE-SELL e-zine. It showed in
practical terms how to use "Make Your Site SELL!"
("MYSS!") principles to"site-sell." It caused
hundreds of people to ask for a similar site
review. Unfortunately, I just don't have the enough
seconds in the day. Large companies have hired me
for a day or two at a time for high level planning
and strategizing. My rates are crazily high for
this kind of one-on-one -- frankly, I'm not worth
the $6,000 per day. But they seem to think
otherwise, so who am I to say otherwise? ;-)
This demand for site-reviewing did give us an
idea to launch a Sweepstakes with me as the prize.
No, it's not a date -- you'd find me rather boring,
I'm afraid -- all I do is talk about the Net. ;-)
Rather, you can win my site-analyzing services. And
that's precisely what Edward Palmer has won. At
$6,000 per day, he's won a pretty good deal (yes, I
really do charge, and get paid, that amount).
In this article of SITE-SELL, I do the "BHH job"
on his site. If *YOU* would like to win my services
to analyze and improve your site, simply spread the
MYSS! word by entering the MYSS! "Analyze This"
Sweeps!...Sweepstakes link
OK, on to Edward's
site...http://www.youth-sports.com
I asked him what the MWR (Most Wanted Response) of
his site is. He replied...
------------------------------------------
"The three primary goals of the site are
1) to sell products
2) to be a content resource center for parents
and coaches regarding youth sports and
sportsmanship
3) to be a place for children to come to for a
chance to color online as well as enter the
coloring contest and have a chance to win a"B. A.
Good Sport" T-shirt.
The "Getting Started Sports Books" are the first
sports coloring books that teach fundamentals and
sportsmanship. The web site is the only youth
sports site that focuses on sportsmanship in youth
sports with valuable content provided by youth
sports experts, child psychologists and health
& fitness experts."
------------------------------------------
When I read Edward's statement above, I started
to worry. If you want to sell product,
"content-building" can become not only very
time-consuming but actually distracting to the
sales process. And coloring? Hmmm... we'll see.
BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING
Let's start. Go
to...http://youth-sports.com/
Read the rest of this article while following
along in Edward's site.
-----SIDEBAR-----
I'm going to be rather hard on Edward's site in
places. But don't take that the wrong way. Overall,
I think he has found a wonderful niche that has
terrific potential. It just needs a little
renovating. So now it's time for...
"Web Site Tool Time" ;-)
Meanwhile, please look past some of the site's
problems. If you have a child, this site has
information and products that *ARE* of value to
you. It's a great idea. :-)
-----SIDEBAR-----
Here are Edward's opening headline and
statement...
A Colorful Way to Learn Youth Sports
Searching for help on how to teach your
children Youth Sports and Sportsmanship?
You've come to the right place!!
Ouch! Really, really poor headline. First, the
headline ("A Colorful Way to Learn Youth Sports")
looks like a banner, so I didn't notice it at first
(neither did my wife when I asked her to review
this article!). Surfers quickly train their eyes to
avoid anything that looks like a banner. I only
noticed that headline on my second visit to the
site.
When I finally saw it, I said, "How the heck did
*that* headline get there.? Did I miss it?" In any
event, maybe it's a good thing that I didn't notice
it... The headline says nothing. Instead of
grabbing the viewer by the hand and pulling him or
her into the rest of the copy on the page, you miss
it and when you do see it, you miss the point.
Because it has no obvious-and-immediate point.
Only after I spent some time on the site did I
understand the "play on words" of this headline --
most people would not bother trying to even "figure
it out." Yes, it's cute and clever. But it does not
sell. It only confuses. Your opening headline is
the single most important part of the site -- this
one dies. What does "colorful way" mean to me and
what does "Youth Sports" mean to me? Not much.
Nothing, actually.
-----SIDEBAR-----
Ed did the headline as a graphic. Which is OK.
But it's 17.7K. Way too big. Remember, most people
are still on 56K or less, and most will still be
there in a year. Optimize those graphics.
-----SIDEBAR-----
THE OPENER
The opening paragraph (what we call "The Opener"
in MYSS!") is not bad. It does let the reader know
what's coming. BUT...
1) It introduces a term that I am not familiar
with... "Youth Sports." Is this somehow different
from regular sports played by youths? It raised
some confusion in me. And confusion is a bad thing
to raise.
LESSON #1 -- Never use jargon.
2) "teach" is a painful word. It implies work
and time. Yes, this may be required by the parent,
but don't put that up front now.
LESSON #2 -- Avoid words that have unpleasant
connotations.
3) It does not address a fundamental pain or
gain of theparent.
LESSON #3 -- this is critical. You must promise
a major gain or relieve a big-time pain. Let's see
if we can improve this a bit...
------------------------------------------
"Is your child having trouble playing by the
rules? Maybe doesn't even *KNOW* the rules? You've
come to the right place!!"
------------------------------------------
Perhaps with a cute, pouty, tear-filled
cartoon-child with arms crossed, ready to "take my
ball and go home." No jargon. Cleaner. Avoids
painful phrases. Outlines the parent's pain/worry
and promises that you have the cure.
I am never, ever happy with my opening
paragraph. I re-read ours at least once a week and
try to improve it. The Opener is THE key to your
site. "Make Your Site SELL!" lists all the key
points that must be hit in your Opener. It's the
single most important part of your whole site.
THE LEAD-IN TO THE REST OF YOUR OPENING PAGE
From that opening paragraph, you must lead-in
cleanly to the rest of your Home Page. Now, "youth
sports" is not my area of expertise, so I'll
"guess-write" from a personal viewpoint. As an
expert in the field, Edward could use this if he
felt that these sentiments generalized to most
parents, IN A BIG-TIME WAY.
OK, so let's
continue...------------------------------------------
"Games and sports are an incredibly important
way for your child to interact with others.... to
team-play ... to be competitive 'within the rules.'
Key life skills such as leadership, team play, and
graceful losing are set at this early stage. They
are honed over years of seemingly simple play. Your
child will use these skills to win, OR lose, in
such adult life situations as....
o working for a large company
o marriage
o launching an entrepreneurial venture."
------------------------------------------
See where this is going? As an parent of two
girls, 8 and 11, Edward would have my complete and
total attention. I will leave no page unturned to
give my children this kind of edge in life.
Instead, let's see where the rest of this page
goes...
Next I see a nice, warm picture of "Uncle Ed" in
the right margin. That's where my eye went -- the
photo probably grabbed it. You should always do
some simple usability testing, as outlined in
MYSS!, to see if this in fact is the usual pattern.
I certainly would not want this to be the second
thing that the visitor sees. Why? Because I want
the visitor to read my "key life skills" copy
first. This really holds the visitor to my site.
"Mission statements" are deadly boring. But
since I'm there now...
Really, I like the photo of Edward (although
it's rather large at 19.2K). Usually, I find
head-and-shoulder shots like this a turnoff -- much
better to show the site-owner in a natural site
(perhaps coaching soccer here). But this photo has
been nicely rendered and Edward looks like
everybody's favorite uncle. Good start to
"likeability." Remember, if your visitors don't
like you, they won't buy from you.Unfortunately, Ed
follows with what I call an "I-me-my" mission
statement. Too bad... at this early stage, the
customer only wants to know..."What's in it for
me?"
Instead, Edward starts "I believe..." and it's
all downhill from there. I hate to be hurtful, and
the only intent of this is to help, but really...
no one cares what Edward, I or anyone else says in
our mission statement. At a certain point, they
might... but that time is only after they are
totally sold that you have something to offer. At
that point, the visitor might wonder...
"Hmmm... who *ARE* these people." Right about
then, you might get a click on the "About us"
button (bottom left margin). That's where Edward's
mission statement belongs... merged in with the
other copy on this page. As it stands now, it's
hurting the Opening Page.------
My eye continued down the right margin. At the
bottom, I see Edward's mascot, "B.A. Good Sport" --
it's a terrific little character. Nicely done. Good
feel. But he's asking me to click on "What's
New!!". Why would I want to do that when I don't
yet know what this site will do for me??
At this point, Edward has likely lost me -- I'm
very probably headed back to the Search Engine...
NEXT!
Let's review...
1) I've missed the headline. If I had seen it, I
would have got nothing out of it.
2) I've read a confusing opening paragraph.
3) Then I saw Edward's photo and mission
statement, so bypassed important copy that should
motivate me to stay.
4) Then I see a cute mascot asking me to click
on "What's New." As a joint to the next page, this
is likely to lose me. Why? I have no reason to
perform a time-consuming click to another page.
Let's assume I do the unlikely and scroll back
up the page to pick up the text, where I should
have been. Here's
Edward's second paragraph...
"You will find helpful information, advice and
instructional products that will help you the
parents, coaches and children involved in youth
sports. Each section provides you with an in depth
look at the particular topic."
------------------------------------------
Uh-oh. Features instead of benefits. He's
telling you what his site *is* rather than
addressing a parent's pain or gain. Re-read my
proposed follow-up paragraph above (starts with
"Games and sports are..").
Edward goes on to list each major section of the
site and describe FEATURES again. Not a single
description motivated me to click. Plus it's a
clunky way to "preview the link's destination."
A javascript roll-over could handle this
elegantly and give a more professional feel at the
same time. If you don't understand this, see how we
do it on our MYSS! site... Just mouse-over the
button-links at the top of each page.
Finally, Edward closes the all-important Home
Page with navigational instructions...
"Need to Find Your Way Around? The easy to use
graphic navigation bar on the left and the easy to
read text bar at the bottom of each page will help
you visit each sport and all the other helpful
sections while visiting all the numerous sections
within this site.
Bookmark my site and encourage other parents,
coaches and youth athletes to visit
Youth-Sports.com.This site is your resource center,
dedicated to benefiting parents, coaches and
children involved in youth sports."
------------------------------------------
Ouch. You should never have to explain
navigation to your visitor. It should be intuitive.
And in fact, Edward is not doing anything out of
the ordinary. So it's not needed.
The last two paragraphs are weak and
self-serving. Edward should be finishing with a
strong joint that pulls the visitor to the most
important next page. The concept of "page joints"
is an original MYSS! concept -- it explains in
detail how to keep your visitors on your site, and
how to keep them progressing through it.
And just before the joint, Edward must gently
lead the visitor into the concept that there is
stuff for sale here. It seemed to me like a big and
sudden jump to see material for sale as soon as I
link to "Soccer" or "T-ball" -- I expected
information about those topics, not material for
sale.
I also found more T-ball products under
"Fundamentools" than under T-ball. Very confusing.
If Edward wants to make the coloring books
prominent, he should simply do so in the relevant
sports section, rather than create separate,
single-product categories.
NAVIGATION
Let's take a look at how to straighten out the
navigation of this site...First, the vertical
navbar is confusing. I keep getting mixed up
whether the "word labelling" applies to the graphic
that is above or below it. So I have to look to the
top to figure it out all over again. Know what
happens when you keep frustrating your visitor?
Phew! Glad I got that off my chest. ;-)
Next, I would remove counterproductive and
under-used areas...
1) Forums -- no one uses them on Edward's site.
Forums can be useful. But you need a high-traffic
site. And you need the type of audience that likes
to kibbitz. And you need lots of controversial
topics. Otherwise, they die. And quiet forums are a
kiss of death.
2 & 3) "Color online" and "Coloring contest"
-- This site is clearly aimed at parents and
coaches. My guess is that "coloring" is not used as
much as Edward was hoping. I would blend this into
the area where Edward sells coloring books. Offer
the parent the chance to print out a few pages for
offline coloring by their children. I'd probably
scrap the contest.
4) Awards program -- Edward sells "B. A. Good
Sport" Award Certificates" or allows them to print
them. I would move each of these, soccer and
t-ball, into their respective product sections.
This is extra navigation for too little gain.
Remember, the more buttons there are to click, the
more tired your visitor will feel before even
starting.
5) Photo gallery -- seems like a waste of time.
I felt like I wasted a click.
6) Links -- ditto. Wasted my time. It's a lucky
thing that Edward's not paying me by the hour. ;-)
Not a good idea to link out of a selling site, in
any event.
7) Order form -- don't see the point of this.
Edward's order process is smooth from each of the
individual products. Few people are likely to click
on the Order Form and just start ordering.They are
far more likely to find a product, say in
"Fundamentools," that they want. They click on "Add
to Cart" and then a fairly smooth and short
"checking out" process starts, including the
ability to add any other item to the cart before
check out.So the "Order Form" link does not seem
necessary.
-----I'd change two links...
1) Archives -- rename to "Youth Sports
Newsletter." The links. "Archives" sounds so dusty.
I do like the way Edward offers the ability to
subscribe to his newsletter on many other pages.
This is Edward's important BACKUP RESPONSE
(explained in detail in MYSS!). He does not miss a
chance to capture the all-important e-mail address.
2) "Coming soon" -- I would tend to move this up
under"T-ball" and "Soccer"
OK, now we're down to the "meat" --> links
to... T-ball, Soccer, Fundamentools, Articles. I
don't get the point of "Fundamentools." I'd drop it
and reassign the products into T-ball or Soccer
(and other sports as they get added). And the
T-ball and Soccer sections need to be sub-divided
according to some sort of logic, maybe something
like...
o Rules of the Sport
o Sportsmanship
o Coaches' Corner
o Parent's Perspectiveo etc.
Second, I'd divide the "left margin navbar" into
three sections (allowing for all the discarded
sections discussed above)...
SECTION #1) Top left corner of each page...Home
Page About Us Contact Us
SECTION #2) Across the top of each page, left to
right...
ARTICLES --> Soccer T-ball Sportsmanship
Coaches Parents
SECTION #3) Down the left margin, top to
bottom...PRODUCTS Soccer T-ball
Coming Soon Youth Sports Newsletter (?? better
name)-----Ahhhh...
Nice and clean. Visitor understands that the
left margin is selling products. The upper bar
contains all kinds of informative articles. And you
can always get back to Home, or contact the
company, by clicking on one of the links in the
left upper corner.
SITE-SELLING IDEA
Now the key -- each and every article must link
to specific, related products. When a visitor
clicks to a certain article, that person
automatically qualifies as having an interest in
that topic. So s/he is only one click away from
buying a related topic. This will be the single
most powerful sales tool on the site.
If Edward has the programming power available,
I'd even track each "article-visited" with a
cookie. Then, at certain times, if the product link
was not clicked, I'd dynamically insert product
suggestions. This is something that we are
developing for our site, now that we are adding one
new product per month.
UNDERUSED STRENGTH
That little mascot, "B.A. Good Sport"
("GoodSport" is a cuter a single-word last name for
the character), should be the tour guide for the
whole side. He should be doing much, much more than
just telling me what's new. This little guy can add
much needed character to the site.
Do a variety of drawings (not all in the same
pose, as he is now). Put him in a variety of
situations... soccer, t-ball, whispering, shouting,
happy, worried... but always talking to us. This is
a winner guy who needs to be used better.
UNNECESSARY WEAKNESS
Those "Web ring" and Link Exchange banners on
some of the pages. Makes the site seem small-time.
They hurt credibility and therefore hurt sales --
they are not worth whatever minimal traffic they
bring.
BOTTOM LINE
This site has wonderful potential. It's a great
example of how entrepreneurs can enter a niche and
do well with it... or not. It's all in the
execution, which is good news.Why? Well...
As we saw in the first article in this issue of
SITE-SELL!, entrepreneurs often make bad basic
decisions, right at the start. If you do that, it
does not matter how well you execute. You just
don't have a chance. Edward has not made a bad
decision. I think that he has the beginning of an
excellent niche site. He just has to execute
improvements.
The proposed changes in this article will...
1) Make the point of the site far clearer. My
wife did not understand what the site was about
until she read this article. You have no chance at
a sale if someone spends 10 minutes clicking around
your site and is still asking "What is this site
trying to do?".
2) Make the visitor far more likely to stay and
explore because "there's something in it for
him/her."
3) Make the site easily navigable and usable. Do
all you can to reduce user frustration.
4) Eliminate the fatigue feeling -- too many
navigation options, half of which are dead-ends of
no value, is not a good way to gain the favor of
time-pressured surfers.
5) Most importantly -- it will sell much, much
more product.
-----SIDEBAR-----
Something tells me that Edward's site is about
to get a whole lot better. If *YOU* would like to
win my services to analyze and improve your site,
simply spread the MYSS! word by entering the MYSS!
"Analyze This" Sweeps!...
Sweepstakes Entry
----SIDEBAR-----
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